{"id":391,"date":"2014-08-31T10:01:14","date_gmt":"2014-08-31T17:01:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.majorscorner.com\/?p=391"},"modified":"2026-03-07T18:12:51","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T03:12:51","slug":"sundaycolumn-ngos-humour-majorscorner-clublife-august-31st-2014","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/?p=391","title":{"rendered":"#SundayColumn #NGOs #Humour #MajorsCorner #ClubLife  August 31st 2014"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"#SundayColumn #NGOs #Humour #MajorsCorner #ClubLife  August 31st 2014\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>I had an unusual splitting headache last week at the club (the home of homes) after listening to several members go on about this and that, but nothing really meaty to get one\u2019s teeth into. Of course when one gets a headache at this time of life, one cannot help but think it might be the onset of a stroke.<!--more--><br \/>\nWith my luck it won\u2019t be fatal and I shall be left a cabbage, spouting gibberish with my wife\u2019s awful cats crawling all over me. I give anyone permission to garrotte me with a Senior Reading Room curtain cord if he sees me in the throes of the aforementioned predicament. Better dead than avoided at the club, what?<br \/>\nThe pounding in my head abated somewhat when I clamped eyes on my friend George Smallpiece, a man of substance and wit. However he sat down with a grim visage next to my green wingback. He obviously had something on his mind.<br \/>\n\u201cNGOs,\u201d he said loudly. \u201cNon-governmental organizations,\u201d he elaborated as if I did not know what the initials meant.<br \/>\n\u201cYes, I know what they are, George\u201d I said, rubbing my temples, which had resumed throbbing.<br \/>\nHe apologized hurriedly. Did I know that people who run the bally things jokingly call them \u201cNothing Going On\u201d? In other words. many don\u2019t send much money to the subjects they purport to support. I shot a skeptical eyebrow high upon my brow at that, as my wife of some 50 years and I support several such worthy causes.<br \/>\n\u201cYou see, their costs eat up most of their funds, so that there is not much left in the drawer to send,\u201d he insisted.<br \/>\nThe room swam before my eyes. How could this be? George loosened his belt a bit so he could lean in close to me, \u201cExpenses are often above 80 per cent,\u201d he breathed. \u201cWhat!\u201d I exclaimed.<br \/>\nGeorge said he had more than a few friends \u201con the Game,\u201d as he put it, and they claimed that after travel, huge advertising fees, office expenses, conventions, enormous executive salaries, pensions and first class travel, oh and pins, everyone wanted a pin for the lapel, they were lucky if there were any funds remaining at all. The fact that there is a lack of government oversight, makes everything splendid as far as the NGOs are concerned.<br \/>\nI suddenly remembered a shocking article in the Vancouver Sun a few months ago, which reported that a third of a billion dollars was being given every year to 300 or so NGOs to look after the downtown east side of Vancouver, a 16-block area. Madness surely. And it is still a truly dreadful place. The question the newspaper asked was: Where did the money go?<br \/>\nThe one-armed Colonel joined us to pass along something he had just heard on this very subject: That civil servants loved to be seen at NGO conventions because it gave the impression that government was somehow involved and not just spraying money to bloody dictators.<br \/>\nIncredibly these civil servants were even sometimes paid to speak at these functions, with all expenses included. The Colonel said he was reliably informed that it helps if somehow the NGOs can work in the United Nations at these get-togethers in warmer climes, especially in winter.<br \/>\nOne bright group that purported to send underwear to the Third World enlarged the first two letters of \u201cunderwear\u201d so that it became \u201cUN-derwear.\u201d No one could make out what it represented but if the UN was involved, \u201cCount us in,\u201d went the thinking. The chap who thought of that is now a god amongst the NGO movers and shakers.<br \/>\nWe ordered medicinal martinis all round as the subject had exhausted us. In fact we were so spent we asked for club sticky buns as well.<br \/>\nIn the end George said from now on he would only give to the Sally Ann as he could see what they did.<br \/>\nPerhaps ask what the expense ratio is if any NGO phones you for a donation. Not all are like this, but I am afraid a great deal are.<br \/>\nNothing Going On.<br \/>\nCopyright Major\u2019s Corner 2014<br \/>\nwww.majorscorner.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"#SundayColumn #NGOs #Humour #MajorsCorner #ClubLife  August 31st 2014\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>I had an unusual splitting headache last week at the club (the home of homes) after listening to several members go on about this and that, but nothing really meaty to get one\u2019s teeth into. Of course when one gets a headache at this time of life, one cannot help but think it might be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-majors-corner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/391","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=391"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":392,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/391\/revisions\/392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}