{"id":596,"date":"2015-04-19T07:05:16","date_gmt":"2015-04-19T14:05:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.majorscorner.com\/?p=596"},"modified":"2026-03-07T18:12:50","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T03:12:50","slug":"majorscorner-watchwhatyousay-doingsattheclub-canadianhumour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/?p=596","title":{"rendered":"#MajorsCorner  #WatchWhatYouSay    #DoingsAtTheClub   #CanadianHumour"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"#MajorsCorner  #WatchWhatYouSay    #DoingsAtTheClub   #CanadianHumour\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>I recall from my Shakespeare at school these words from Hamlet when Polonius says farewell to his son: \u201cTo thine own self be true.\u201d Perhaps one of William\u2019s most famous lines; however I was reminded the other day that the second part of the goodbye is equally important but not as well remembered. It goes \u201cAnd it must then follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man.\u201d<!--more--><br \/>\nThe Brigadier too must have forgotten the last bit, for he exaggerates every story he tells so that none is really the truth. For example, the other day he observed Mrs. ffrangington-Davis giving club president General Baron de Boeuf a warm handshake and a buss on his cheek at the front desk. This he immediately interpreted as a lusty affair of the heart, so much so that he could be heard over the very fine club soup (ham and pea) suggesting that the matron is just this side of a slut. I mean to say!<br \/>\nThe old soldier has done this before, so we go to great pains to make sure we have all the facts when telling him any news at all. But it appears to be useless. Not long ago one of us mentioned that the blind admiral was having trouble raising money for his favourite charity, a fund to lower the average weight of Canadian sailors from a nasty 300 pounds to a more healthy 190. The idiot Brigadier raced off to tell everyone else in the club that the blind admiral was flat broke and we should leave donations at the reception. The man is truly a menace.<br \/>\nThese situations always remind me that our dear club is a microcosm of the world at large. The other day I was speaking to one of the inner circle of government who told me entre nous there had been a bit of a set-to at the UN when someone pointed out after a three-drink lunch that the rather overweight ambassador of \u201can emerging nation\u201d in the midst of starvation, did not look like he had missed many meals. All hell broke loose because of it.<br \/>\nOf course when they got to the bottom of it, it turned out that the drunk was referring to the French ambassador, who had just finished his fourth croissant, and not the dictator\u2019s large friend. These things happen, of course, but one of these fellows might have their finger on the big red button, which is not good after an alcohol-fuelled meal. I mean, fare thee well and all that.<br \/>\nMisunderstandings have hurt me personally down through the ages. I remember when I was a youth, trying to teach a delicious-looking girl how to waterski. Because of the noise of the motor and my excitement at being in such close quarters with my fantasy girl, I did not hear her say, \u201cDon\u2019t hold my bathing suit, you nitwit.\u201d Rather it sounded to me like, \u201dHold my bathing suit, darling.\u201d It ended badly as a naked girl shot out of the water with me holding her torn suit. In a hopeless attempt to dissuade the furious father from throttling me, I shouted helpfully at the nude daughter: \u201cI found it.\u201d<br \/>\nPeople are always getting the wrong end of the stick. A great great uncle of mine (Norbert), during the battle that included the Charge of the Light Brigade, said in a quite innocent way, \u201cI wonder what is over there?\u201d Somehow everyone thought it was an order, and charged.<br \/>\nHis pal the late Captain Nolan took the blame, while Uncle Norbert kept very quiet about the whole unfortunate mess.<br \/>\nI once had a friend who was attending a wedding with a fierce head cold. The minister came to the part where he is required to ask the assembled throng if anyone knows of any impediment to the marriage taking place. Just then my friend Horace sneezed, but instead of the tried and true \u201cAchoo,\u201d because of his cold, it sounded more along the lines of \u201cI do.\u201d<br \/>\nPandemonium broke out with the organist somehow the one receiving a black eye and the father of the bride a serious groin injury. All very unfortunate.<br \/>\nBut you see what I mean, be careful to be clear or you could be in the stew.<br \/>\nCopyright Major\u2019s Corner 2015<br \/>\nmajornigelsb@gmail.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"#MajorsCorner  #WatchWhatYouSay    #DoingsAtTheClub   #CanadianHumour\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>I recall from my Shakespeare at school these words from Hamlet when Polonius says farewell to his son: \u201cTo thine own self be true.\u201d Perhaps one of William\u2019s most famous lines; however I was reminded the other day that the second part of the goodbye is equally important but not as well remembered. It goes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-majors-corner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=596"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/596\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":597,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/596\/revisions\/597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}