{"id":682,"date":"2015-11-15T08:13:08","date_gmt":"2015-11-15T16:13:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.majorscorner.com\/?p=682"},"modified":"2026-03-07T18:12:50","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T03:12:50","slug":"another-oldie-goldie-from-the-past","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/?p=682","title":{"rendered":"Another oldie-goldie from the past&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"Another oldie-goldie from the past...\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>A visit to the hairstylist leaves the Major&#8217;s wife a modern Medusa<\/p>\n<p>Times Colonist (Victoria)<br \/>\nSun Aug 25 2013<br \/>\nPage: D4<br \/>\nSection: Monitor<br \/>\nByline: Major&#8217;s Corner<br \/>\nColumn: Nigel Smythe-Brown<br \/>\nSource: Times Colonist<\/p>\n<p>Most of my loyal readers will have by now grasped the fact that I have never dealt well with sudden change.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I don&#8217;t much like change at all. I prefer the known path, trodden by my shoes of life, every centimetre recognizable to my now old and rheumy eyes. I have determined that the cause for the frequent ruptures to my carefully chosen way is because I share said journey with others, namely Kitty, my wife of some 50 years.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>I tend to follow that odd duck Jean-Paul Sartre (existentialism) in only one category: company. The stinkbomb Sartre (he only reluctantly washed) said a wonderful thing once: &#8220;Hell is other people.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Does that not soar as a banner to march behind? In my case, but for a few mems around the club, I like to wallow in my study amongst my books with only myself as an agreeable friend. Life is perfect that way. No other people.<\/p>\n<p>We all know, however, that this state of bliss cannot last, as the blather of the early 21st century breaches the walls of peaceful existence and gracious solitude is no more.<\/p>\n<p>When Kitty walked into my study last week without knocking, I had a start, and not a small one. I think I would have been within my rights as a slumbering husband to accuse her of something close to attempted murder; shocks in my time of life could see me off the playing field, so to speak. In short, it was a frightful act of disregard on her part.<\/p>\n<p>Kitty had just returned from her hairdresser, and had clearly been the recipient of bad advice. When the room stopped tilting, I dimly remembered my wife had said something about visiting a more avant-garde &#8220;designer&#8221; of hair rather than the mundane &#8220;dresser.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It was all Greek to me, but what now stood before me was very much a Greek Gorgon, if not Medusa herself.<\/p>\n<p>I shivered as I looked at what had become of my true love, the mother of our children. The familiar hair, now flame-red, piled high and disagreeably made larger by what are called extensions, in case you are a chap like me, in the dark about such matters.<\/p>\n<p>Included in this appalling sight was an unrecognizable face that appeared to have been hit with a pumpkin pie. The (as I came to learn) fake tan was so extreme I thought of calling 911, assuming that what was standing before me had just been victimized by a flash fire.<\/p>\n<p>Then the tears arrived in buckets as Kitty called upon her crowd of like-minded friends for comfort. I was seen as a selfish male stuck in my stupid old ways, never allowing my partner (wife) to &#8220;grow and blossom&#8221; with a new look and outlook. Oh, woe is me, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Let the record show that I never said a word throughout the ordeal, simply a few throat spasms like &#8220;Umph&#8221; and &#8220;Jeez,&#8221; but not a censorious phrase or sentence escaped my full lips. However, as I have said, the jury found no room for pity and I was for the high jump, at least socially.<\/p>\n<p>I wonder what they would have said if I had worn extensions, took a pie between the eyes and worn an orange suit? I would probably have an appointment with the local Dr. Freud to talk about an unnatural love for my kindergarten teacher and latent bed-wetting. I am an innocent caught up in I know not what. My question remains the same. Why cannot I have my wife back the way she was? It is not that I am against a late summer spruce-up, as everyone could use a polish of some sort. But to mess about radically with the way one looks is to remove a critical plank from the deck of one&#8217;s marriage. It is to lose one&#8217;s compass, methinks.<\/p>\n<p>copyright christopher dalton 2015<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"Another oldie-goldie from the past...\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>A visit to the hairstylist leaves the Major&#8217;s wife a modern Medusa Times Colonist (Victoria) Sun Aug 25 2013 Page: D4 Section: Monitor Byline: Major&#8217;s Corner Column: Nigel Smythe-Brown Source: Times Colonist Most of my loyal readers will have by now grasped the fact that I have never dealt well with sudden change. In fact, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-majors-corner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=682"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":686,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/682\/revisions\/686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=682"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=682"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=682"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}