{"id":7,"date":"2014-03-25T22:20:27","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T05:20:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.majorscorner.com\/?p=7"},"modified":"2026-03-07T18:12:51","modified_gmt":"2026-03-08T03:12:51","slug":"visit-to-the-club","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/?p=7","title":{"rendered":"Visit to the club"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"Visit to the club\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>We had one of those frightful movie types from Los Angeles arrive at the club a month or so ago. He was introduced to us by one of our shady new mems, who got into the home of homes in the last intake in order to enlarge our dwindling exchequer.<!--more--><\/p>\n<p>This Californian went by the moniker of Chip Ladd, which I am almost positive is not his real name. His intent, he said, was to use our edifice in his next \u201cmajor motion picture\u201d as the home of a misunderstood prostitute.<\/p>\n<p>Skepticism is an ugly word, but it ran through the heart of our club like scurvy. The so-called \u201cChip\u201d wandered within our ivy-covered walls back-slapping one and all and astoundingly offered my favourite barman and waiter the part of the long lost son \u201cin transition.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rogers preened about the halls practicing his line &#8212; \u201cWhat about the bandages?\u201d &#8212; as he delivered our martinis. Somehow (money) Herr Ladd managed to convince our board to allow the film to actually take place upon our carpeted floors with all manner of disruption, which is an outrage of the first order.<\/p>\n<p>On the day in question we waited as if for a firing squad, sure that the filming would not work out. What had been advertised by Chip as \u201ca few lights and a man or two, which would almost be unnoticeable\u201d turned out to be stadium lighting and some of the largest humans ever witnessed in the senior reading room.<\/p>\n<p>Heavy cabling was draped over us as we sat, stunned, in our green wing-backs, while several tough females told us we could not move and were to \u201cshut our mouths.\u201d The star arrived, and to say she was in fading mode would be an understatement, so several autograph books were quickly put out of sight.<\/p>\n<p>From what we could hear from the rooms where the actual production was taking place, Mr. Shakespeare can rest easy. There was terrible swearing followed by exclamations of joy from Chip, and then the star shouted \u201c Don\u2019t touch me there again!\u201d followed by a thoughtful silence. The climax seemed to be some sort of ripping sound preceded by a scream and Rogers\u2019s line, \u201cWhat about the bandages?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, I don\u2019t know about you, but mems forced to sit for long stretches festooned in heavy cable after a martini or two felt urgent needs, such as an emergency bathroom break. Their silently mouthed cries for help were met by the dead eyes of the aforementioned production assistants, and complete indifference descended on the soon to be moist reading room. Tea towels were discretely passed around the embarrassed mems with fixed smiles.<\/p>\n<p>At long last the film wound down, but not before several unscheduled pistol shots rang out, pushing the last of the mems who had managed to not produce a personal accident over the abyss.<\/p>\n<p>We Smythe-Browns like going to the movies; in fact my brother Llewellyn met his present wife Rosetta at the flicks when he dropped a gallon of orange pop onto her head during a frightening movie. She chased him into the lobby and out into the traffic, where he was hit by a singing bicyclist. This brought sympathy galore from the wet-haired Rosetta, and they celebrate to this day their accidental meeting by attending as many cinemas as possible.<\/p>\n<p>So let it be known far and wide that we as a family love the movies, but Chip Ladd brought a pause to that love affair. After the director and crew left it was discovered that two upstairs maids plus the sous chef were pregnant and several valuable silver forks were missing from the dinning room collection.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly Rogers is still shouting, \u201cWhat about the bandages?\u201d while he serves.<\/p>\n<p>majornigelsb@gmail.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top:5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"Visit to the club\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div><p>We had one of those frightful movie types from Los Angeles arrive at the club a month or so ago. He was introduced to us by one of our shady new mems, who got into the home of homes in the last intake in order to enlarge our dwindling exchequer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-majors-corner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7\/revisions\/9"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/majorscorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}