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#SundayColumn #MajorsCorner #CanadianHumour July13, 2014

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Have you ever noticed that the more one dislikes someone, the more they want to be familiar?

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My Sunday column July 6th 2014 #CanadianHumour

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We never know what this trip and fall life holds for us, or what snake in the bed is even now curling around our toes. A few weeks ago the club put on one of those dratted soirees where everyone is expected to show up as a sign of solidarity.

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#SecurityAlert: Ravings by Christopher Dalton July 3, 2014

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Once again the airports of the world must tighten up their security for any plane that is flying to the United States. Apparently someone heard someone who heard someone’s cousin who heard someone else in a souk at a flea-bitten village discussing bombs that because of new technology, will make them almost impossible to detect. Oh well… All I can think about this is, once on the plane and after ordering a stiff drink, you quickly feel up the passenger beside you as part of doing your bit for Homeland Security, besides we are all Americans when we fly there, until you reach US Immigration, the rudest in the world.

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#CanadaDayRaving by Christopher Dalton July 1st 2014

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Happy Canada Day!

I am enjoying The World Cup so much, that I shall miss the soccer when it is over more than I could have imagined. The anthems on the other hand are indecipherable and from my point of view, not very catchy. One or two appear to sound more like two cats trapped in a pillowcase, cacophonous and unhappy. However I was delighted to see that the Swiss one was the long rumoured to be, “Hickory dickory dock…”. During a few the players appeared to weep throughout, while others seem to strike the teams dumb. One of the Arab countries’ theme song contained a clicking sound as if free dentures had been issued to the orchestra before performing. As they say it takes all sorts I suppose.

On another subject: I cannot say that it comes as any surprise to me that an article in the Huffington Post today states that the number one thing that Canadians are most proud of is The Charter of Rights and Freedoms. I say I am not surprised because instead of Life Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness that our cousins included in their constitution, we used the more bland Peace, Order and Good Government. Does not POGG really grab you?

Now we discover The Charter is the thing closest to our hearts, which replaced the very functional British North American Act. Written 1982 by dreary lawyers, it is coincidentally a lottery win for the legal game, as The Charter brought in the US disease of Class Action and a litigious plague never seen north of the border before.

Other countries who looked at our charter decided that they did not want to share our hoopla or example as they felt that it would cause endless court cases. In other words it would be rule by The Supreme Court not the House of Commons. Hooray for us.

Oh by the way, our single source National Health Care is second which no one else wanted either, only emulated by Cuba and North Korea.

The excitement in our hearts is becoming dangerously high, eh?

Don’t listen to the chattering class, you know what you love about Canada.

I’d say Crosby’s goal to win the gold medal at the Vancouver Olympics for a start.

Enjoy our great country today for what it is, large, cheerful and rich.

Happy Birthday Canada.

#TheMajor’sSundayColumn June 29th 2014 ” Always right”

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I always enjoy listening to those types who are never wrong. They are so certain whatever they say must be taken as absolute that they are stunned by anyone who has a different point of view. It is as if a madman stumbled into their purview, an escapee from Bedlam, and somehow is allowed to speak.

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